01 Jan 2012 Leave a comment
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 3,300 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 55 trips to carry that many people.
Click here to see the complete report.
26 Nov 2011 2 Comments
in Children, Motherhood, Postpartum Depression Tags: Beatrix, children, motherhood, photos, postpartum depression, PPD
Yes, I’ve been writing. Just not here. Please forgive me. The thing is, The Lorix Chronicles began from my need to get a lot of crud out of my head. I hoped it would help at least one other person who was dealing with postpartum depression or just the regular trials of motherhood. It’s helped me, and, I assume from the positive feedback I’ve received, that’s it’s helped others (and is still helping others) as well.
Which is why I feel embarrassed that I haven’t posted for about six months or so. Oops.
Anyway, this is not an “important” post, but I did want to update the few of you who read The Lorix Chronicles. I’m doing well. My kids are great, I enjoy being a mom now, and I feel about as “normal” as I ever have – maybe even more so. I told my aunt this morning that I really love my medication. I may wean off of it at some point, but a conversation with my psychiatrist helped me see that the goal is not to wean off medication – the goal is to feel normal. I’m there now, and I’m able to enjoy parts of my life that I haven’t in a long time. That makes me happy.
So, that’s my update. Now, for your viewing pleasure, a few random photos from my lovely daughter, Beatrix.
Baby in a basket (don't worry, it's not a real baby)
She's really into words right now - though she was pretty sure this said "Subaru"
One of her "studio" pictures - she poses her stuffed animals for a photo shoot
Her brother trying to feed a cracker to the camera
I think this was another posed picture - a mom and baby, perhaps?
We ate lunch today at a restaurant where you can draw on the tables. Beatrix was being, shall we say, not so great. We were eating with my aunt and uncle and she kept griping "We don't even know these people. Why are they sitting with us?" I occupied her by letting her choose colors for me to draw her a castle. See, a year ago, I would've just ordered another Bloody Mary. Now I'm able to deal with the crankiness. Thank you, Zoloft. (Of course, the one Bloody Mary I did have was delicious).
So that’s that. I’ll try to write some more soon. Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I didn’t know if I could ever say this (and actually mean it), but I am so thankful to be a mom to my two awesome children.
04 Jul 2011 6 Comments
in God and faith Tags: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, death, faith, God, hell, Love Wins, spirituality
Have you read the book Love Wins? It’s written by Rob Bell, the pastor of Mars Hill, which happens to be the church I attend. The book confronts the notion that God condemns people to spend an eternity in hell if they do not believe in him. The book does not say there is no hell, but it leaves room for anyone, anywhere, dead or alive, to come to God and live the full life he offers us. Bell implies that God never gives up on us, not now, not ever. He loves us always, every single one of us, no matter what we do or what paths we’ve followed. Because of this love, we can always return to him.
I know that many do not agree with the ideas in Love Wins. For me, however, it is a book that tells me what I already knew. God, through Jesus, came here to save us from hell. This is not the hell we usually picture – some shadowy fire-filled place under the ground. This hell is the one where we’re separated from the love of God. When someone says “it feels like hell,” we may think it’s just a euphemism, but they may be struggling in their own personal, very real hell.
I am a big fan of the TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer (stay with me here, I swear there’s a point to this). Have you seen the show? Think it’s all just a bunch of cheesy vampire-fighting fluff, right? Okay, well, it is. There are moments, however, when I watch and cry because of how poignant it can be. More
25 Jun 2011 12 Comments
in Birth, Children, Motherhood Tags: Beatrix, birth, birth story, children, Milo, motherhood, photos
Disclaimer: This post goes into some detail about my children’s births. You have been forewarned.
Everyone who has ever given birth has a birth story. Women through the ages have sat down and shared this story with friends and family, sisters and daughters. Now, mothers are encouraged to write down everything they can remember about the birth of their child(ren). It’s a lovely idea – to be able to share this story with your child when he or she is older. I wanted to write one after I had Beatrix, but I was too busy to finish it. My doula, Holly, was kind enough to type a few pages about the events of the birth, and for that I am thankful.
Holly also wrote Milo’s birth story. Once again I wanted to write my own version, but never seemed to find the time. This week I found myself writing both of my children’s birth stories.
My labors and deliveries were “normal,” yet not what I expected at all. More
20 May 2011 Leave a comment
in Children, Motherhood, Postpartum Depression Tags: Beatrix, birthday, children, motherhood, parenting, postpartum depression, PPD
Today is Beatrix’s 4th Birthday. The memories of her birth and the months following, while somewhat fuzzy, are still powerful.
Like so many mothers, I thought I would feel an instant bond the minute she was born. Instead I was stricken with a mix of wonderment and fear. It was as if someone had handed me a gift and said, “You take it, I have no idea what it does.”
When Stewart and I arrived home from the hospital two days after she was born, we set her in the middle of the living room floor, still in her car seat, and looked at each other.
“So…what do we do now?” Stewart asked. More
11 May 2011 2 Comments
in Guest Posts, Motherhood, Postpartum Depression Tags: anxiety, cutting, intrusive thoughts, motherhood, panic attack, parenting, postpartum depression, PPD
I will now be featuring Guest Posts on The Lorix Chronicles, starting with this courageous story from my good friend Mimi.
It started as a lie. A lie to myself, a lie to my midwife, a lie to my husband. I wanted to tell the truth but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to be looked at differently; I didn’t want to be a monster that people talked about when I wasn’t present. It wasn’t my fault, I didn’t ask for this. I just wanted to feel normal and be happy again.
I was excited when I learned I was pregnant. I wasn’t always sure I wanted to have a baby, but when I found out the news, I couldn’t wait to tell everyone. My pregnancy didn’t go the way I had hoped. I puked at least 3 times a day and couldn’t stand to even be in the same room as certain foods. My highly sensitive nose was putting me over the edge. I was laid off from my job at 25 weeks pregnant and had already been in the hospital with a miscarriage scare. The scares continued with each growing week and I was being carefully observed. With each scare, the need for the baby inside me grew more intense. More
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